Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
