Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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