I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
