1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
