honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
