Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
