I don't usually arrange sex via text message
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
