i permit you to call me
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize