Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
