Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
