Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
