You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize