I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
