Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
