FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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