new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
