he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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