i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
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