I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
