I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
