Having a random hookup so left but love u
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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