Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
