If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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