I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
