Rock
Scissors
Fuck
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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