walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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