her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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