Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
