She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
