I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
