i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
