Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
