belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
