i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I am spending my child support on dildos
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
