I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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