Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Someone came in the potted fern
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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