Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize