You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
