Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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