Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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