you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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