i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
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