So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he's gonorrhea incarnate
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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