If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
