it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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