some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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