If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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