if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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