I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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