I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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