I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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