I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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