i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize