So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
