So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
