.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
