some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
