Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
