it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
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