I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
