I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
