this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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